'GET THE BOARD STRETCHER...YOU CAN'T MISS IT!'

We were building a shed on the farm back in the 1950s. My two older brothers instructed me to climb down off the scaffolding, go into the workshop, and bring back the board stretcher.

“What does it look like?” I asked innocently.

“You can’t miss it,” my oldest brother said. “It’s hanging right next to the handsaws, on the wall.”

Well, of course, I had fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the book. There’s no such thing as a board stretcher and after three fruitless trips to the workshop, my brothers fessed up and let me know they had been pulling my chain.

I recalled this episode the other day as I was doing a yard project. It would be awfully easy to confuse a green-thumb gardener with the language of “garden speak.” Gardening is full of words just waiting to confuse and obfuscate (seemed like a good column to use that word).

Here’s a typical exchange between gardeners: “Some of the leaves on my Betula nigra are chlorotic this year,” one gardener informs the other. “Probably low soil pH” responds the second gardener. (Chlorotic leaves are yellow, Betula nigra is river birch, and soil pH refers to the alkalinity or acidity in the soil.)

Using Latin words to name plants can be intimidating to non-gardeners who would likely prefer the name “coneflower” to “Echinacea purpurea.” Using the botanical name has virtue, nonetheless, in that it eliminates confusion over which plant is being discussed. The name coneflower could too easily be confused with many other perennial flowers that bloom with rays of petals extending out from a center seed head. Echinacea purpurea leaves no doubt: purple coneflower.

Even the terms perennial, biennial and annual can be confusing. An annual is a plant whose life cycle is of only one year's duration. A plant that completes its life cycle in two years is a biennial. A plant whose life cycle lasts for three or more seasons is a perennial. Perennials, in turn, can be “tender” (killed easily by frost) or “hardy” (withstands extreme cold in winter).

Trees that drop their leaves in the fall are called deciduous. Conifers are cone-bearing trees with needlelike leaves. Of course, there are exceptions to both categories.

Plant propagation terms can be confusing. Besides planting a seed, plants can be propagated by “cuttings” (rooting sections of stem, roots or leaves), “division” (splitting plants, roots and all, and replanting), “layering” (rooting a branch of a plant that is still attached to the plant) and “grafting” (uniting a short length of stem of one plant onto the root stock of a different plant).

There’s no end to the peculiar words used by gardeners.

“Girdling” refers to choking of branch or plant stem by a wire, rope, vine or another branch.

“Hardening off” is the process of gradually acclimatizing greenhouse or indoor-grown plants to outdoor growing conditions.

A “hybrid” is the offspring of two different species or varieties of plants.

“Mulch” can be any loose material placed over the soil to control weeds and conserve soil moisture. Mulch is usually a coarse organic matter, such as leaves, wood chips or bark, but it can also refer to plastic sheeting and various commercial products.

“Pinching back” involves using a shears or thumb and forefinger to nip back the very tip of a branch or stem. Pinching promotes branching and creates a bushier, fuller plant. Pinching back is not to be confused with “heading back,” a pruning term that refers to cutting an older branch or stem back to a stub or twig.

“Sucker” is growth originating from the rootstock of a grafted plant, rather than the desired part of the plant. Sucker growth should be removed, so it doesn't draw energy from the plant.

“Heeling in” is the temporary placement of a plant into a shallow trench with its roots covered until the plant is ready to be permanently planted.

A “flat” is a shallow box or tray used to start cuttings or seedlings.

“Double digging” refers to preparing the soil by systematically digging an area to the depth of two shovels.
A “crown” of a plant is the point at which a plant’s roots and top join (usually at soil level).

“Bolting” refers to a bad habit of some vegetables (e.g., lettuce, rhubarb, spinach) that quickly go to flower rather than producing the food crop.

Given the weird vocabulary of gardeners, it’s probably no surprise that I fell for the old “board-stretcher” trick.